My "FRICK!" Rose icon hardly covers it. I wish I had ones with stronger language in my icons, but I don't.

Everything is so fucked up at work. I'm looking for another job, and as soon as I find one, I'm quitting the current place. I have never hated being there so much. It was the last straw. I'm so fucked.

This shouldn't come as a surprise to people who know me, but I am a big Doctor Who fan. I can't put my finger on what makes it so special, but I think a big part of it is the history. If there was only the new version, I don't know if the appeal would be quite as big. Sure, I got into it through the new stuff, but the old makes it so it's not just a fandom. The Doctor Who community here on LJ, for example, is quite different from, say, the Bones or the Office community. And Doctor Who is just as popular in Britain as Bones and the Office are here, even more so really (at least as far as I can tell). The squabbles are less prevalent. The community feels more like an actual community, despite it's size. It sounds cheesy, but whatever. Why is the Doctor so special? I pay $13.95 every month for Doctor Who Magazine. I read it cover to cover, because nearly every bit interests me. The magazine is 30 years old, and continuously has new things to print, because there is something so special about this show, this fandom. I probably sound a bit like a nutter, but still. I am fascinated by the power a freaking television program has on me, and so many others. It could be seen as slightly frightening, but I feel I'm secure enough in the real world to accept that the TARDIS will not appear in front of me, and I will not be whisked away by the Doctor onto adventures. This is really just sort of a babble, but while reading the magazine, I started thinking about it. It's crazy what a TV show can be.

So I just decided it's time to change up the ol' LJ. I have no idea what I'm going to do, but just the idea is exciting.

Also, as I was typing my listening to thing, I remembered I never mentioned something. In July, I'm going to go see No Doubt, and in September I'm going to go see Blink 182 and Weezer. =D

I can't even keep up with my friends page. Right now, I am almost two months behind, and I like to be caught up before I see new posts, so...I'm getting even more behind. I need to give up my want of knowing the past, otherwise I'll never know what's going on. Oh, to have the time and willingness to be online more. I'm not blogging either, obviously. So I figured I ought to at least update this.

I've got about two and a half weeks left of school, then finals, then DONE. After school is out I'm gonna start a regular, four days a week babysitting job, so that will be nice. And I'm gonna spend a week in Canada. But all of this...so much less stressful than school, of course.

I'm also in a proactive mindset. I've been walking Rinny every night for the last week or so, which means exercise for the both of us. And I'm trying to eat less, better, and organic (more because I found out about how much better that is for the environment than because it's good for me though). I was trying on clothes and it was so depressing. I'm not a size 16 anymore, I'm an 18, and...I thought 16 was too big. If I can get down to 12 or 14, which would be a lot of work, but it's worth a try, I will be so amazingly happy. I think how I'm going about it this time is better because it's more sustainable. I used to go to the YMCA and...that's a lot harder than a little walk in the evening. I think the walking will bring slower progress, but I think it's just a lot more likely that I'll keep it up.

I get to meet Madisyn on Sunday. It won't be for long, but still. Yo quiero jugar con mis sobrinos! (I hope I said that right, haha)

I don't have a lot of local friends. Melissa and Karen, who are both busy mothers, are pretty much it for those within regular traveling distance. So I'm trying to make more friends, because I want some people I can just hang out with who have a life like mine. You know, friends that are more normal for an 18 year old.

( More detial into that below... )

Now, to why I thank God for Reese Roper. In the car on the way home, I put on some Brave Saint Saturn. It was absolutely just what I needed given my odd mood because of running into that guy. I just had to stop myself from closing my eyes while singing, since that's not suggested while driving. Each song brought a different feeling. Applicable lyrics, fond memories, something. But the tone of Brave Saint Saturn was just right. Five Iron Frenzy wouldn't have worked. So, tonight, I feel particularly thankful for Reese Roper and his way with words. I no longer think about marrying him, a goal that was not too likely even before he got married, but still. I might as well add Dennis Culp, Keith Hoerig, and Andy Verdecchio. And...I can't tell you how long it's been since I've typed all of those names out. For nostalgia sake I'll also just go ahead and say Brad Dunham, Leanor Ortega, Micah Ortega, Scott Kerr and Sonnie Johnston. I think maybe one person reading this will get any meaning out of this last paragraph, but oh well. It's my blog.

I HAVE A NIECE! Madisyn Luella Grace *insert last name that I'm not sure her parents want on a non-friends locked LJ* was born April 2, 2009 at 6:16 am, 8lbs4oz, 20 inches long, and perfectly helpfully. Unfortunately she (along with my brother, nephew [her big brother], and sister in law) live over four hours away. I don't know when I'll get to go see them, but hopefully soon. Yay!

And in way lesser news, today at the preschool two of the little girls said that they have watched all of Twilight. They are 4, and I find this amazingly absurd. I had thought the fifth graders reading the book was bad...Anyway.

An icon meme! Lotsa fun. You should do one too.

( I LOVE ICONS )

That was fun, and I hope more people on my friends list do it cause I bet I'd like to see it. =D

Because my html skills fail, I just lost quite a bit of blog. So, to summarize that less important parts: Haven't seen it yet, but the Jon and Kate Plus 8 finale makes me sad, the jury is out as far as I'm concerned with reality TV. After watching Bones (not new, of course) tonight, I wanted to watch Freaks and Geeks, Dead Like Me, the Office and Ugly Betty. I love TV too much, and I hate it too. Now, under the cut (cause of spoilers if you're avoiding them), Bones talk and American Idol bashing.

( Bones Finale and Such )
They don't have a mood selection for agitated. >:/

Over a month without blogging! I don't know if that's good or bad, honestly. But I figured I ought to write one while I can, since God knows what life will be like when school is back on.

So I'm in Casper, Wyoming visiting Emily (well, technically she lives in Mills, but whatever). I'm enjoying myself, I'm happy I came, and I'm very, very happy I brought my Bones DVDs. Em has occasionally annoyed me to the point where I wanna scream, but not as much as I expected. And I think that is largely because of Bones. On my first day, we were just vegging (since I had been up since 3 AM), and Patti (Emily's mom) said I could put on one of my DVDs. I put on Bones, and...well, we've watched several episodes everyday since then. We're over half way through season two now. Patti and Em are obsessed. And since we're watching it all the time, we aren't bored enough for Emily to start annoying me much. It's so fun to watch this show with other people though...And the people who make Bones totally have Em in the palms of their hands. She's constantly like "OH MY GOD! The TENSION between them is just UGH!" She feels exactly what she is supposed to, magnified by ten. =) I told her about Santa in the Slush, and she's still all "JUST DO IT ALREADY!"

Anyway. We got out nails done. Our toenails are both still nice, but both of out fingernails are chipping. Mine are chipping worse...I got a French manicure, and it was chipped the day I got it. =( And the guy wasn't nice. So, I wasn't impressed. I have stated that I'm unimpressed several times while here...Kinda bitchy, but whatever. I'm used to my lovely, green Oregon. It's not so Green here. And it's pretty bare. But the weather has been nice all week...today though, it's a blizzard. I mean, honestly. Yesterday, sunny and 70. Today, a blizzard. I will be happy to be back in Oregon, haha.

I'm eagerly awaiting my final grades. I bet I did pretty well in all but world lit (thank GOD I AM DONE WITH THAT CLASS!), but I wanna see and be sure. I'm not looking forward to having school again in a week. And I'll (hopefully) have another day at work. Which is good, but still...I'll be there from like 4 to 10, with an 8 o'clock class the next day. FUN STUFF.

I think I'll stop now. =)

From jacedesbff

* Type your name and "needs" into Google.
* See what comes up.
* Share the first five.

I did it for Arielle, or for Elle.

1. ARIELLE NEEDS A BOYFRIEND!
2. Arielle needs a massage.
3. Arielle needs a new car!
4. Arielle needs your help.
5. ARIELLE NEEDS NUMBERRS

1. Elle needs to sway some opinions...
2. ELLE NEEDS TO CREATE A REALITY SHOW.
3. ELLE NEEDS TO RENT A TOUR BUS.
4. Elle needs your help.
5. Elle needs some serious help.


Most of the Elle ones, I think, were for ELLE magazine. And I definitely am feeling the first three Arielle ones. =)

Rotten is at the vet right now, waiting to be put down. She's my old dog (named by my brothers). I'll detail more about Rotten later. Right now though, I'm in a very sad mindset, and I'm supposed to go hang out with a bunch of fifth graders in an hour and a half, so I can't be crying then. Therefore...I'm making a list of things that, despite this incredible sadness, are still wonderful and present. There's no order to the list except in the order they came to mind. I only numbered them because I don't type in the rich text box and don't know html for bullets.

1. I still have my Rinny. She has a lot of problems, but...she's an amazing dog.
2. I have good friends. Not many, but I am so thankful for the ones I have.
3. My way through school so far has been completely paid, with no necessary loans (I have taken loans, for supporting how I live, but they weren't exactly necessary for tuition).
4. I have a job. In the America of today, that is pretty incredible. It's also incredible that I got the job I did, considering how most people hired there have connections to employees ("Oh my friend would be a great hostess!" etc) and I had none.
5. Though my parents often drive me nuts, they try really hard to do what's best for me and to be there.
6. I have a massive (considering I'm only 18 and not super duper rich) DVD collection that provides lots of distraction when I need it. This really is something to be thankful for.
7. Mexican food. La Casa Del Pueblo has provided me with much needed enchiladas many, many times. In fact, mom is picking up a #4 for me right now, God bless her.
8. Chocolate. I hate it, but oh how I love it.
9. Pasta. Ditto with the love/hate relationship.


I think that's all I'll do for now. Hopefully I'll manage not to eat the whole freaking bag of Dove (milk chocolate, if you're interested in which type I prefer) that's in front of me. And I do wish I had a better icon, but...I don't have many truly depressed icons uploaded. Most negative emotion ones revolve around anger. Maybe I should get one of Rose crying in Doomsday...I'll check my collection and see if there are any good ones to upload. (the distressed picture in the mood theme on my journal is part of that scene, so I'm using it) Looking at icons, even depressing ones, helps me my mood too.

I'm trying to figure out my schedule for next term. It's still two weeks until I can register, but it's a good idea to get it all ironed out ahead of time. I should have stuck more to the recommended guidelines from the beginning. I only have one of three sciences out of the way, and since I didn't want to take biology 102, I have to wait for another beginning level in a different science is offered, and...there's like one and it doesn't work with my schedule. And I'm gonna have to change my work schedule. I need to find time to do a practicum, work at the preschool and work at the restaurant. The offered classes/times are making that difficult. Like four of the good choice classes for me are all at the same time. Why? This crap is evil. I think I'm gonna take one or two summer classes, because it's not the whole summer, and that way I can make up for some of the crap I missed. There are big advantages to a simple schedule like high school and below have.

First, why quiet doesn't work.

Within the last couple of weeks, I developed a major desire for a boyfriend. For years it was easy to say "Eh, a relationship started this young can't really go anywhere." And that was true. But I guess being 18 made my social clock (psych!term) go off. "You're 18, you always thought you'd have a boyfriend by now, how can you expect to ever get married and have a life if you can't even get a boyfriend?" Because...I'm 18. I don't want to be married right now, but I could legally do it. Unfortunately, I'm not a type to make friends easily, let alone a romantic connection. You see, in order to meet new people, speaking is necessary. I observe and think, and it takes a lot to get words out when I'm not in the company of my close friends. I seriously struggle to make a noise. Ridiculous. I need to learn to speak. Others seem to find it very easy, and I don't know why it's not for me. I am an introvert, and we are not known for social skills. And that's really all on that. I'm ready to start dating, and I totally do not know how.

Second, why you should be nice to your waitress.

As a waitress, I obviously think we should be treated well. But it would really help customers if they were nicer. I try and be kind and cheery, because getting a meal shouldn't bring you down. However, it's difficult to be kind and cheery when person after person gets grumpy with you. Remember that we don't cook your food too. If your food is taking a long time, don't yell at your waitress. It's not our fault. Go ahead and say something, but don't act like it's our fault. That will only make us grumpier and snippier (because we're humans too, we have emotions) which will, chances are, make you grumpier and snippier. Also, don't ask us for one thing, then when we bring it, ask for something else, and we bring it, and you ask for something else...I know sometimes people forget things. But if you can help it, ask all at once. And feel free to remind us if we seem to have forgotten, but don't yell.

This could seem awful high horse, but...It's really about being nice to your fellow man (or woman, if you're being particular). I see so many people who act like they've forgotten that waiters and waitresses aren't Rosie the Robot. We're people. I make a point to try and be at least a little nice to everybody I can. I still find it odd/sad that most people don't seem to.

People are horrible. Rebellion is popular. So, let's rebel against human nature and be NICE! Honestly.

In my psychology class we're discussing human development across the lifespan. We're learning about Erikson's stages of development...

I'm in "identity and identity confusion," which according to Erikson is right where I should be, age-wise. However, I rather wish I didn't fit the typical 18 year old profile. But I do. Even in adolescent egocentrism, which means I think everybody notices what I notice and cares. I know that's not true, but I still feel it. Which is ridiculous. I'm glad I'm not behind in any of the developmental stages, but I feel like I should be ahead, haha.

Teenagers suck. And I so am one. =)

So I've thought about updating almost daily, and...I haven't.

Jacob is here and it's great. My boy is amazing. =) It's just too bad he has to visit David's friends too, we can't hog him at our house the whole time, haha.

My world lit class is gonna kill me. I think my teacher teaches how she does to entertain herself, not teach us. Constant discussion, and she's always giddy. Then last time she had us come up with good essay questions for our test, and examples. Which I think is a tad ridiculous. It's nearly like doing the work twice, and I think she's kind of looking for ideas. I may just be annoyed enough to exaggerate things in my head, but...still. Oi.

Working in the fifth grade classroom is fascinating. I'm consistently working with babies/toddlers, preschoolers, and fifth graders. The development, it's crazy. And with the fifth graders, who I have the least experience with, I'm always a little surprised. They all act older than I feel they should, and younger at the same time. There are like five girls reading the Twilight series in there, and I feel like "They're way too young for that!" though if I were in fifth grade, I'd probably be reading it. I think I probably don't want to teach fifth grade, though. A little bit too much for me to handle everyday.

There was more to blog about, I'm sure. However, I'm distracted by the Sarah Jane Adventures, so...Adios.

Not a big blog. School has started, and now I'm very busy. My free time has been spent watching Bones (hello new obsession!) and Doctor Who (just started watching the seventh Doctor, not much left!). I got a Blackberry. =D It's pretty. I can even text with it now. I got used to the quick type thingy. Woo. And, I joined Twitter. 'Cause I can update from my phone, during class when I'm bored. =) Or at work. So, I link you to my Twitter profile.

Elle's Twitter.

And, finally, I found some Jamie McCrimmon icons, along with Two. (Doctor Who, by the way, from the '60s)

So, I've decided to do a bit of a recap of 2008. There has been good and bad, of course. Here are some memorables...starting with the big fat one that's best and is new news.

My dad has been approved for social security income. He's applied once before, and the application was rejected because they figured he would be better in 12 months. For those who don't know...No effing way. I ask my father, "hey, do you wanna go to Red Lobster with me and mom?" and he says no because he feels to crappy? That is not someone who's getting better. He only gets worse. That question about going to Red Lobster has been repeated many times this year, and it's always the same. But yesterday (Dec. 31, it's only 10 PM here) at like 7:45 am we got a call from social security saying the application has been approved. We're getting about $11,000 backpayment and then about $650 a month. This means my family is finally gonna be able to get our heads above water. So, thank God and happy new year. It's a freaking miracle.

( Click for the significant things in 2008 )

So, I bought my car in, I think, October. I will now post pictures of it. =] These are the before pictures...I haven't yet taken after pictures, so...that'll be soon, haha. I've since personalized it a bit more.

( Click for the pictures! Not dial up friendly... )

So the subject has nothing to do with the post. I've just had "All I Have to Do is Dream" by the Everly Brothers stuck in my head. I like that song.

Our Christmas celebrations were enjoyable. At some points it felt a little weird, but...It was good. Jacob, Samantha and every bit of my local family were here. I had Eli tell me a few times about how awesome Jacob is. Which is very true. There were awkward seeming moments between the sisters (my mom and two aunts) but whatever. I can't help them, and don't need to either. They're just them. I got stuff, too. Not a lot, but some. Yesterday mom did a stocking for me, which was a surprise. From mom, including the stocking stuffers, I got:
A pink little notebook.
More Natural Ice chapstick.
A pack of two clear rubber stamps, a flower and a heart, which are cute.
A small black and gold (well, gold painted) watch with what is apparently a real diamond accent deal where the 12 should be.
This flashlight thing that has little screwdrivers and stuff inside. It's for the car, and like roadside emergencies...The flashlight is either a flashlight or a blinking red light. I wouldn't know how to use anything in it (at least with cars) but I like it. It's pink and silver, haha.
A pair of silvery and rhinestone earrings.
Then I got $20 from my grandma and a $45 CD or Not CD gift certificate from my aunt Becky (and her husband Howard and my cousin Eli). That's all for family gifts, I think.

Emily's package came today, so I also got (for birthday and Christmas) Eeyore pajamas (which I sent a picture message of to Em so she could know which ones I really wanted), the new Cure CD (which I also asked for) and some cheesy but fun earrings that absolutely remind me of her (set of skulls, set of peace signs, set of guitars). I really didn't know what to expect, and I'm glad she got me what I asked for, and a surprise. Also, my Rose and K-9 figures arrived (the Doctor is on backorder...-sniffle-). I also got an mp3 player radio adapter thing from Karen and Felicity last week.

Most importantly of course is that I get to spend time with Jacob. I'm super duper tired, but I so enjoy having him here. We did puzzles, we played lots of games, and now we're watching the Nightmare Before Christmas. He saw my poster and started going "Halloween, Halloween, Jack, the pumpkin king!" So I asked if he wanted to watch it, and he said yeah. It's a whole 25 minutes in, and he is still mesmerized. I had no idea he liked this movie so much. Anyway. I'm gonna go sit with him and watch. Odd moments, but overall, a lovely Christmas.

And I used all of my Christmas icons but two, so...Maybe next year! And the Doctor one is appropriate to this post, since I'm still waiting on my Doctor action figure...

Now for the in my life post.

My Christmas day was fairly uneventful. The real celebrations start tomorrow (er, today I suppose, seeing as it's 1:23 AM [and hey! 123!]). Samantha is gonna bring Jacob over, so it'll be good. All of the local family will be there. It will be happy times. Back to today though.

I've been working my butt off (ah, if only) cleaning the house and finishing prep. Still not entirely done, the stove and counters are nasty. But the living room is looking nice (as nice as I could get it...cleaning was much more difficult this year, probably 'cause mom has nested a lot during her free time that she didn't have last year). I brought Buddy over because I feel bad that he has to be so lonely at his house while is people are away. So, he was over while dad and I watched Doctor Who (still watching the fifth Doctor, Resurrection of the Daleks) and I frosted the sugar cookies. They look goodish. I took pictures once everything was nice, so I'll post those soon. And if not soon, eventually. After all that I went to see Yes man with Eli. I enjoyed it, though there were a few bits that just were not my kind of humor (his neighbor, for instance). And then I came home and watched Doctor Who. Yepyep.

I don't know exactly why I felt I needed to blog that. But I did.

And how appropriate that the mood I choose, exhausted, has a clip from the Christmas Invasion?

I've decided to separate my Doctor Who *SQUEE* bit and my what's happening in my life bit into two separate posts. This is partially so people can ignore whichever part they don't are about, but also so I can use more Christmas icons. Of course.

This is the Doctor Who Christmas special *SQUEE* post. Spoilers under the cut, people.

( OMG <3 etc. )